Your Mom: The Official White House Joke Book

Because serious questions deserve…your mom!

By Penny Shill, White House Correspondent

Washington, DC — The White House has released Your Mom, a 300-page compilation of press roasts, maternal slams, and absurdist deflection. The book will be sold exclusively at airport kiosks, Monster Truck rallies, and the Lewinsky Room gift shop.

“Pam Bondi’s congressional testimony reminded us that answering questions is for people with secrets,” said Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, adjusting her LED sunglasses that flash “NO COMMENT” whenever MSNBC submits an inquiry.

Asked by HuffPost if this undermines public trust, Leavitt replied, “Your mom undermines public trust. And bridges. And patio furniture. Ooh, that’s a good one. Steven, add that to the book.”

“I’ll put it in…their mom!” guffawed Steven Cheung, White House Communications Director, collapsing on the floor in a fit of giggles.

Proceeds will fund “Troll School,” an after-school program teaching fifth graders how to monetize rage, weaponize memes, and dodge subpoenas with a ring light and VPN.

Excerpts from Your Mom

Q: What legal authority justifies the strikes on suspected narcotrafficking boats in the Caribbean?
A: “Your mom’s a narco boat. We’d blow her up too, but there are laws against whaling.”