Dear Readers,
Scholars of totalitarian and other autocratic regimes have frequently remarked on the “insistent clamor,” “endless repetition,” and general “pattern(s) of thought” that characterize these regimes’ vocabulary and propaganda.1 Their goal: to imbue a style of thinking and, correspondingly, acting, that enables them to control their people with less effort.
As such, Ridiculocracy is starting an occasional series called “Doublespeak Dictionary,” documenting the language of MAGA and the Trump Administration. You can find each entry in the “Doublespeak Dictionary” tab at the top of Ridiculocracy.com. We hope you like it.
Today’s word, “Merit,” is the first in the series. As always, please send your reactions and feedback. Your loyalty will be rewarded.
Sincerely,
MERIT
noun /ˈmɛr-ət/
Plural: merits
1. Loyalty to Donald J. Trump (political usage)
Unwavering allegiance to the 45th/47th U.S. president, often expressed through fawning cabinet meetings, social media reposts, gold-plated merchandise, memecoin purchases, and denial of objective reality. Used in federal hiring, endorsements, and settlements with higher education, big law, big tech, and big media. Known to cause family estrangement, spontaneous tattoos, and rapture.
Examples:
“We do not hire based on illegal DEI — only on merit, practical skill, and dedication to The Leader, Light of our Nation, Healer of All Ills, Maker of Statistics, future Nobel Laureate, and Greatest Dealmaker of all-time, Donald J. Trump.”
— White House Executive Order, January 21, 2025“He’s got real merit — he retweets Don Jr., owns three MAGA hats, and wears a red tie as a loincloth.”
— Hiring memo, Office of Personnel Management“The Senator’s merits include voting against impeachment, abandoning his core beliefs, and mastering the art of ideological self-criticism to secure Trump’s approbation.”
— CPAC bio, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
“Before being hired as Deputy Secretary, I passed a merit test: I swore Trump won in 2020 and January 6 was a hoax.”
— Every Deputy Secretary, 2025-present
Synonyms: fealty, devotion, sycophancy, Alphaness, riz
Antonyms: nuance, independent thought, reading comprehension, treason, RINO, integrity
2. Innate qualities of white Americans, especially males (political & cultural usage)
A euphemism for “real Americans” — preferably Southern, Christian, armed, and Republican — who listen to country music, watch Fox News, and whose ancestors fought for the Confederacy. Exceptions granted for pro-Israel Jews, tech bros, crypto enthusiasts, or anyone who voted for Donald Trump in a swing-state. Believe Trump to be speaking about them when he says “our country” or “our heritage.”
Examples:
“Merit is what built this country: men with rifles, mullets, and a sense of grievance and entitlement – and the women who birth their children, fry their bacon, and bleach their toilets.”
— Former Alabama Gov. Buckley “Buck” Rawhide“She married for merit — he had a truck, a flag, and almost half his teeth.”
— Excerpt from Redneck Vogue, June 2024“He’s not a racist, sexist, philandering halfwit — he’s just full of merit.”
— Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s third wife
“The conservative minorities who helped swing the election for Trump in 2024 showed merit but will never be one of us.”
— White House Deputy Chief-of-Staff, Stephen Miller
Synonyms: salt of the earth, devout, Bubbas, NASCAR dads, insecurity, Trad Wives, AI CEOs
Antonyms: coastal elites, librarians, anyone with a passport, Democrats, BLM activists
3. Looks like me (executive usage)
A subconscious hiring criterion powerful individuals use to identify “talent” based on facial similarity, athletic prowess, and shared fraternity history or golf club memberships. Often confused with “potential,” “leadership,” or “the right fit.” A standard of value in which worth is determined mainly by resemblance to the speaker— physical, cultural, or otherwise.
Examples:
“He’s got merit — pale, male, Yale, and married to my cousin Gail.”
— Chadworth Remington III, Venture Capitalist
“Supreme Court justices rule purely on the merits of the case: whether a Republican or Democrat appointed them.”
— Cynics everywhere“He reminds me of me, but younger and less threatening.”
— CEO of a Fortune 100 Company
Synonyms: mirror test, legacy admission, nepotism, self-recognition bias
Antonyms: diversity, competence, female, non-white, unfamiliar eyebrows, accented
Carl J. Friedrich and Zbigniew K. Brzezinski, Totalitarian Dictatorships and Autocracy (New York: Frederick A. Praeger, 1956), 115.