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Font Crimes and Other MS Demeanors

Other Agencies Roll Back “Woke” Typefaces after State Department Reverts to Times New Roman

Dec 12, 2025
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By Hu Kares, Font Correspondent

Washington, DC — Secretary Marco Rubio has ordered the State Department to revert to Times New Roman from Calibri.

The announcement was scheduled for October, but Rubio, who hasn’t set foot in the Department since firing 1,300 employees in July, set Google Maps to “avoid irrelevant agencies” and had been wandering between the White House and Russian Embassy.

Italy also refused to license “Roman” until Trump promised to stop greeting their prime minister with, “you look beautiful. Were you one of Jeffrey’s girls?”

Rubio blamed radical DEI for the font switch, promising the administration’s diplomacy would now be even more incomprehensible.

Democrats on the House Oversight Committee on Friday released images from Jeffrey Epstein's estate. Some images, like the one above, have had portions redacted by the Committee.
A newly released image of Trump with Epstein girls, including future Italian PM Georgia Meloni, second from right. (Source: House Oversight Democrats)

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