“Yes Kings!” Counter-Rally Planned for January 6

Trump, King Charles Plot to Restore Monarchy, Spar over Who Will Reign

By Luce Widafax, National Correspondent & Rip Diplomacy, International Correspondent

Washington, DC/London, UK – Several MAGA groups and the British Monarchy announced Tuesday they would co-sponsor a “Yes Kings!” rally on January 6 as a regal rebuttal to October’s “No Kings” demonstrations.

Apparently confused, Trump has already claimed the crowd was “at least 10 million. Some say 20 million. I don’t know, it could have been 50.” No Kings drew an estimated 7 million people – or, as Trump put it, “200 Antifa and 6-7 Hamasniks.”

“6-7! 6-7!” Screamed every child in America, moving their hands up and down, as if weighing the existential threat to democracy.

“The Empire strikes back!” King Charles III posted on X. “It took 250 years, but as Clausewitz said, ‘war is never final.’”

The Trump Family coat of arms with watchword, “Looks & Loyalty” – also the name of a British pub and failed cologne.

The six MAGA justices will reportedly start the “Yes Kings!” rally on the stairs of the Supreme Court, then march to the Capitol, where they will kneel for the coronation. ICE agents and British Redcoats will flank the procession while the FBI embeds 274 agents to root out rebel sabotage. MI6 will distribute tiaras with secret surveillance cameras.

Trump will follow in a gilded golf cart wearing a suit made of what two weavers claim is the finest fabric imaginable, though it is invisible to anyone unfit for office, or who is unusually stupid. The cabinet will come next, carrying Trump’s train. To avoid embarrassment, little children who point out inconvenient truths are banned from the procession route.