Trump Hospitalized for Delulu Disorder after Macron Hot Mic Incident
Putin “wants to make a deal for me” lands on top ten most naive list
By Penny Shill, White House Correspondent
Washington, DC – August 21, 2025
A hot mic on Monday caught US President Donald Trump telling his French counterpart, Emmanuel Macron, “I think he wants to make a deal for me,” referring to Trump’s efforts to negotiate an end to the conflict in Ukraine with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Medics immediately rushed Trump to Walter Reed hospital, where he was diagnosed with “Delulu Disorder” and placed on a diet of cold reality and carrots to wake him up and alleviate his blind spots.
“Once we heard Trump tell Macron that he thought he could ‘set up a trilat’ with Zelenskyy and Putin – and that Putin wanted a deal instead of all of Ukraine – we grabbed the stretcher,” explained one of the medics.
“That kind of naivete can be dangerous. In the past, it led to dejection when Putin didn’t reply to Trump’s 2 a.m. ‘you up?’ DM – also large land wars in Europe.”
“We normally see Delulu Disorder in tweens, cult leaders, and washed up celebrities, so Trump was especially susceptible,” said his attending physician. “We used to have a vaccine, but RFK, Jr. canceled it because he thought it relied too much on experience, evidence, and expertise.”
Top Ten Most Naive Statements in History
The Neville Chamberlain Society, which keeps the internationally recognized “most naive statements of all time” list, immediately put Trump’s at number 2 for its eerie similarities to their namesake’s:
"I believe it is peace for our time." – Neville Chamberlain (1938) after accepting Hitler’s promise not to pursue further territory in Europe if allowed to take the Sudetenland, agreed to without Czech representatives present.
“I think he wants to make a deal for me.” — Donald Trump (2025) after accepting Putin’s promise not to pursue further territory in Europe if allowed to take the Donbas and Crimea, discussed without Ukrainian representatives present.
“Mission Accomplished” — a banner behind President George W. Bush (2003) announcing the end of major combat operations in Iraq.
“Winter won’t be a problem in Russia.” — Napoleon (1812), who retreated after losing ~380,000 men.
“What a cute wooden horse!” — The citizens of Troy (c. 12th century BC)
"Unsinkable.” — Titanic Captain Edward Smith (1912)
“Don’t worry, we can handle a few Sioux.” — Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer (1876) before his “last stand” at the Battle of the Little Bighorn.
"Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." — Yale economist Irving Fisher (1929), 1.5 weeks before the Great Depression.
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." — Lord William Thomson Kelvin (1895), British mathematician and physicist.
"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote." — former President Grover Cleveland (1905)