By Don Keys and Samuel Beckett, Democratic Party Correspondents
Wilderness, USA – “I’m telling you, it’s coming,” said Vladimir, a Democratic strategist. “The Emerging Democratic Majority. Demography is destiny. We’re at the dawn of a new progressive era!”
“We lost to ‘Chad’ in 2000, a disastrous war in 2004, and twice to a misogynist authoritarian ALL CAPS tweeter.”
“The arc of the moral universe is long, but we know it bends toward us.”
“Eventually.”
He sits, waiting.
“It’ll be just a few more minutes, I’m sure. The future is bright: oat milk and organic quinoa for everyone, workers in control of the means of production…”
“Oh, hey Estragon.”
Enter Estragon (née Wendy Smith, he, she, us), a software engineer wearing an inside-out and backward “The Future is Female” t-shirt.
Vladimir: “It’s coming.”
Estragon: “We gave LatinX open borders.”
Vladimir: “We gave women and blacks DEI.”
Estragon: “We gave college students Adderall and trigger warnings.”
Vladimir: “We ostracized white men.”
Estragon: “Those privileged b@#A@%&s deserved it.”
Vladimir: “Our coalition of grateful beneficiaries and the likeminded is taking shape.”
Brandon, a Republican pollster, passes by, sipping from a “Liberal Tears” mug.
Brandon: “Telling people they have to vote for you? Alienating 30% of the population? Because of their race and gender?
Vladimir and Estragon look at him.
Vladimir: “Bigot.”
Estragon: “Exclusionary.”
Brandon walks off.
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