Charles Schwab Launches TACO Fund
New ETF Tracks the Presidential Capitulation Index, Gives Retail Investors Exposure to Ultimatums and Backdowns, Trades at 15-Minute Disadvantage to Insiders
By Justin Time, Insider Trading Correspondent
New York and the Strait of Hormuz — Charles Schwab launched a Trump Always Chickens Out exchange-traded fund (ETF) Friday (Ticker: TACO) to give ordinary Americans exposure to the now-reliable pattern of presidential threats, walkbacks, and victory declarations.
Donors of $250,000 or more to the East Wing or Trump-Kennedy Center can purchase TACO Institutional class shares (TACO-I) that trade 15 minutes before retail investors and 48-hours before the ultimatum is extended.
The fund’s launch follows a period of “strong demonstrated alpha,” including oil futures that surged fifteen minutes before Trump’s most recent “final extension,” six accounts that made $1.2 million each on attack timing, and a $400,000 Polymarket position on Maduro’s capture placed before the White House announced it.
According to the prospectus, TACO relies on “sophisticated modeling”:
Buy the dip on a Trump ultimatum,
Hold when he extends it, and
Sell the pop when Trump rebr…
