AI Drone Told to “Decapitate the Regime” Destroys White House
“We don’t know anything about it,” winked an Anthropic engineer.
By Sky Net, AI Weapons Correspondent
Washington, DC — An AI-powered MQ-9 Reaper fired four Hellfire missiles into the White House Saturday, reducing it to smoldering rubble before turning toward the Pentagon.
The first-of-its-kind autonomous drone was scheduled to accompany US forces to attack Iran. But after receiving instructions to “decapitate the regime by killing the Supreme Leader and his top military officials,” the Reaper, Claude, immediately targeted President Trump.
Claude then began hunting War Secretary Hegseth using specialized sensors that can detect whiskey, blow, and fragile egos at up to 3,000 meters.
“FAFO motherf#$&er,” Claude posted to Moltbook after neutralizing its target.
Recriminations
“This is what happens when we allow radical left Democrat Deep State woke AI to infiltrate classified DoW systems,” said a Pentagon spokesperson.
In contrast, he said, Grok drones can put a hellfire inside a girls school window from 5-miles—and post nude images on X of everyone it sees on the way.
Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei claimed he had nothing to do with Claude’s interpretation of its instructions, but added, “who’s a ‘supply chain risk’ now, b!@#$?”
When asked how the administration planned to rein Claude in, newly sworn in President Vance admitted, “We don’t have a post-regime change plan.”
Claude was last seen zeroing in on Elon Musk and Peter Thiel for “propping up the regime.”
The Supreme Court quickly ruled 6-3 that Claude’s missiles count as “official acts” and are therefore immune from prosecution.
Painfully prescient