By Luce Widafax, National Correspondent
Washington, DC – Now that Feds are back at work, cabinet secretaries and other political appointees have noticed a trend: employees charging them for doing their jobs.
“I expected to read my daily intel this morning, like usual,” said National Security Advisor and Secretary of State Marco Rubio. “But when I opened my classified iPad, I had to provide my credit card and choose a monthly or annual subscription to the President’s Daily Brief. Even then, the mid-roll ads kept offering upgrades to ‘non-politicized.’”
Rubio said a CIA analyst later Venmo-requested $500 for a 30-minute deep dive, though it included a complementary PDF and link to the analyst’s Substack.
War Secretary Pete Hegseth reported a tense moment in a secure Signal chat: “I got a call from a pilot about to blow up a Caribbean fishing traw—uh, narcoboat—when he radioed: ‘$1,000 and a signed war crimes waiver, or I’m turning this drone around.’”
